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By Advekit

Posted on October 13, 2020

This blog article will discuss what divorce counseling is, what it's for, how it actually helps with pre and post divorce coping, and how with the right therapist it can make a difference.


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Couples often consider marriage counseling with a special marriage therapist while they are still fighting, with the intent of restoring their marriage. But, sometimes the relationship is beyond repair and the decision to divorce has already been made. Many emotions arise during the divorce process and creating a support system can help alleviate some of the emotional and logistical pain. But questions about how to cope with divorce are overwhelming, especially dealing with legal separation and mediation with a divorce attorney, coming up with a parenting plan for divorcing parents, and dealing with mental health. 

From the start of the divorce process to the end, you’ll have to deal with not only the tangible aspects of separation, but emotional components as well. Likely, you’ll have to make some tough decisions about child custody, property distribution, and finances. It can be overwhelming and you may not feel comfortable sharing all those details with friends and family. Additionally, many people going through a divorce move through a five stage grieving process which consists of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Emotions can run high, but it’s also perfectly normal to also feel a sense of numbness for a portion of the divorce process, which can be confusing and challenging. This is where divorce counseling with a therapy matching service can be helpful for divorcing spouses.

Many divorcing couples choose to use this resource to help them transition through divorce. Seeking divorce counseling is a great place to get unbiased third-party support and trusted advice. It is a great tool to help people deal with stressful and life-changing events. It is also helpful for people who have already started families and who need help figuring out how to co-parent after the divorce.

Keep reading to learn more about what to expect during the divorce process and from divorce counseling to decide it’s right for your relationship.

What is divorce counseling?

Divorce counseling is a type of psychotherapy that helps couples explore, recognize, and resolve conflicts in an effort to understand if either partner wants a divorce, or how to move forward after a divorce. It is a form of talk therapy that provides a safe and private space for partners to discuss challenges and feelings about the relationship and each other. Talking through problems with a trained counselor is an effective part in the journey to better understanding ourselves. Divorce counseling offers tools to help make intentional decisions about the relationship that greatly improve the daily lives of partners in the process of divorce.

Pre-divorce counseling is divorce counseling sought out by couples who are preparing for divorce, whereas post-divorce counseling refers to divorce counseling for former couples who are already divorced. After a divorce, you and your former spouse may still have concerns to work through like sharing childcare or selling property. In any form of divorce counseling, your counselor will never make any decisions for you. Rather, they will guide you both through the process and help you and your former partner come to your own conclusions, keeping the nuances of your relationship in mind. Pre-divorce counseling and post-divorce counseling are both safe spaces to work through issues in a respectful manner with a professional present to help you through any stumbling blocks. The difference is that they address the unique challenges at different stages of the divorce process.

What is the purpose?

Unfortunately, sometimes marriages do not succeed long-term and divorce is the most practical end result. While the end of a marriage can be a relief for some parties involved, it is often also a stressful situation, no matter how amicable it may be. One or both partners in the marriage may experience a range of emotions, including grief, anger, confusion, fear, shame, anxiety, etc., even if one or both of the partners want to leave. If children are involved, stress levels can be even greater. Divorce counseling helps manage this pain, anger, stress, and sadness in a healthy way. 

Divorce counseling is often used to lessen the stress of an impending divorce, but it can also be a tool in helping partners decide whether to stay in a marriage, whether to leave a marriage, or how to transition from married life to single life. Divorce counseling also offers many benefits for former couples experiencing a divorce. It can help two people work through a difficult situation to have a neutral third party guiding them through the process. It can also help any individual who may be struggling with the emotional effects of this change without their partner present. 

What does a divorce counselor do?

A divorce counselor is a certified therapist who assists couples considering a divorce. They are deeply familiar and experienced in marriage separation and divorce in both the emotional and tangible sense. This can include pre and post-divorce counseling work, and it may include long term counseling to work through the results of a divorce. 

They may work in a private practice setting, at a counseling center, or they may practice online. They’re there to help provide the best divorce outcome possible, and can give advice and strategies to do so. A divorce counselor holds sessions with couples to properly understand their reasons for divorce, and assesses the situation. If during the counseling, the counselor helps the couple realize divorce is the best option, he/she will support the couple through the divorce process –– the logistics, decision making, and transition, helping them start afresh in their individual lives after divorce. 

Divorce counselors can help people through discussion, teaching coping skills, improving self-care, guiding in the development of a new life plan, and much more. So, when choosing a divorce counselor, keep in mind what sort of goals you hope to achieve. To find a good divorce therapist, you’ll definitely want to look for someone who specializes in divorce. Whether you get counseling online or in your local area, you can be confident that all divorce therapists are versed in topics related to marriage divorce, and separation. 

Remember that every provider is different, and the best divorce therapist for someone else won’t be the best divorce therapist for you. Likewise, a therapist who works for you as an individual might not be a fit for your divorce counseling. Family counseling, individual counseling, premarital counseling, and even relationship counseling all require different things. There also might be something specific that you’re looking for. For example, you might want to find someone who is versed in working with the LGBTQIA+ community. If the first therapist you see when deciding to divorce isn’t the right fit, it’s okay to switch. 

Using Advekit is an easy and fast way to get matched with a short list of divorce therapists who meet all your criteria. If you’re looking for a divorce counselor, get matched for free today. 


Reviewed By

Alison LaSov, LMFT

blog-reviewer

Alison LaSov is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with experience treating clients struggling with anxiety and depression. She predominantly focuses on mental health intervention for children and adolescents, particularly those who are in crisis. She has worked within the Los Angeles education system treating students with Individualized Education Plans (IEPs), as well as supervised a non-profit Teen Crisis Hotline out of Cedars-Sinai Hospital. Alison earned her B.A. from UCLA and M.A. from Pepperdine University. She is a native to Los Angeles and co-founder at Advekit.

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